When Its Time to Get Away from Yourself

Ever been so in your head that just being there make you dizzy? You have so many things you need to do, you want to do that you end doing nothing because you don't know where to turn? Or when there are so many things happening in your life that you want to tear your hair out and hand it to the next person that comes up to you...in their face?

Yes, I was there. Which is why I have been MIA for the past three weeks. Fam, I had to get away from myself. You are probably asking how the hell do you get away from yourself?



You create a new you. Yes, create a different identity to became as you would create a character for a story. Let me give you some background and maybe you'll see what I'm talking about.

As you may or may not have realized, I am a lawyer with all the deadlines, blood, sweat, tears and whatever cliches that comes with it. Life can get pretty hectic. Especially if you have a vivid imagination and you have to be serious for a majority of the day (you should see me outside of work - its pretty hilarious). But it starts to bog you down and you start thinking, damn I need a vacation from everything, including the world that you have created for yourself. OR really the world that has been created around you, forming and manipulating what you do and say what it expected of you.

So I did. I took a vacation from my hometown, my job and this country and went to Europe. And I created a new identity each time I went to another country.

In the U.K, I was Lauren - a sassy, outgoing Brit who loves to talk to random people and dance the night away.

In France, I was Genevieve - a quiet, demure French girl who loves to sit out by bistros and watch people and educate them about French history.

In Italy, I was Bianca - an alluring, flirtatious girl who shamelessly flitted from Italian man to Italian man receiving favors for simply smiling at them.

Each new character, each new identity allowed me to be me - without really being me, if that makes sense. Lauren, Genevieve and Bianca are all parts of me. Parts of me that I "created" to give myself an outlet. Think of it this way: when you stretch, you stretch out particular parts of your body at a time. You don't necessarily stretch out everything at once. You have to take the time to do each part individually, give it the time it needs to warm up and get ready. To allow itself to free up. To reawaken it. 

In the world that was set around me, I didn't have a chance to warm up all the parts of me. I was getting cold and feeling pretty unused. I was like Mental-Muscles dystrophy. Writing helped immensely but even that started to become part of the routine - something I didn't want to happen. I didn't have the chance to express the crazy, quirky parts of me and it was killing me inside. When you start falling into a lackluster pattern and start feeling hopelessness, it can be crippling and somewhat dangerous for yourself and others around you. It is then time to take a break from you. 

Now I had the blessing and luxury of leaving the country to allow myself to create these new identity but you can do anywhere. Take time away from things that you know and leave the comfort zone. Isolate the parts of you that are there and really free them up. You would be surprised what you find out about yourself. For me, I feel a renewed sense of authorship. I can't wait to get back into my novel and a new fanfic in makings. I am just glad that I finally had the chance to relax, stretch me out and put myself back together. Most importantly, I owed it to my readers be the best I could be!

If you had to name different parts of you, what you would call them?

Fri's Music: Females In Charge, Betta Recognize!

So as you may or may not know, I love music (:gasp: enter sarcastic comment here). I use music to get an idea on how I would like a character to act in a certain situation. Lately I've been on ‘90s kick – mainly R&B. I was going through my iPhone and started playing all these I guess now considered “old school” hits and I realized that the ‘90s female artists made it a point to really talk about the stuff they were or weren’t going to deal with anymore. Sure we had Gloria Gayner’s “I Will Survive” (a pioneer in the “I don’t give crap anymore” movement) but I think, at least for me, that the ‘90s was a point where ladies got real.

Take for instance, Salt n’ Peppa’s "Push It," or Xscape’s "Just Kickin’ It" or KP & Envyi’s "Shorty Swing My Way." All great songs, all songs were the girls let the fellas know who actually is in control. This attitude has bled into a culture where women aren’t simply swooning as the man has his way and rips off the bodice. Things have turn to where ladies are seducers – humbling a man far enough where he is begging on his knees. Their attitude and power has placed them into a position where they don’t have a problem wielding the strength they have. Don’cha love it, girls? J

In light of International Women’s Day (a day late but in the spirit), I want to give props to the songs that gave us gumption to go out and bag the man we wanted. Or to tell that guy go jump off the bridge to nowhere. Or some other snappy comeback. These are songs you heard that you want to jump up and belt it. Because it was exactly what you dying to say! And if you haven’t heard them before, jump on the “I don’t give a crap anymore” movement. There’s always room for more!

Enjoy!

1.      Destiny Child’s – No, No, No

2.      Mary J. Blige – Not Gon' Cry

3.      Mary J. Blige – No More Drama

4.      TLC – Creep

5.      En Vogue – Don’t Let Go

6.      Robin S. – Love for Love

The Dangers of Two-Timing....Myself

Imagine this scene:

I say softly, "Wow, you are so exciting! I would really like to spend some time with you, New Idea."

"Hey! What are you doing! We're not finished yet!" First Idea screams, stomping its foot.

I do a double take, realizing what it looks like. "No, wait! I can explain. I can handle both!"

"Look, its either me or New Idea. You can't have both!"

It is a danger I think all artistic people face – one day you’re working on a project when a new exciting idea comes along, with its new dips and turns and drama. Your mind starts cranking, making you want to start working on it immediately. The siren call of New Idea – its allure into a new unknown, a new spot of pleasure that only you can fully explore. A world that you have yet to discover and tell the world about.

But then there is First Idea that you fell in love with that you have been working months on tirelessly.
And you still may new avenues to go seek out, change up. But the problem is it’s not new anymore. You have been with it for so long, you think you need a break. Maybe sometime with New will rekindle what you have with First. Then you realize you sound like any other cheater in a relationship.

Can anyone say No-Good Two-Timer?? Yes!! And I’m SORRY! :sniff:

Fam, this not the first time I have found myself in this position. Before my current novel, I had…another. It’s a fantastic tale, mixing the tales of Persia and kindred spirits, reincarnation and soul-long quests that stay with you until it’s done. Great, great idea. And I started drafting it. But…the idea for the Balancer came along…and I put my Persia tale to side, saying “I’ll get back to this one later.” Have I yet...(hang my head in shame)...

 

I know, I’m AWFUL!

COMMITMENT – a word that ladies clamor for but I can’t seem to muster that for my own tales.  It is a struggle that I find myself lamenting to you now.  So, what is the lesson? Commitment is a word that anyone must hold dear if they ever want to finish anything worthwhile! If you want to complete anything in life, wait until the work is done first. Then you can move on the next one.

It seems really rudimentary for me to say that but a truth nonetheless. Imagine the fulfillment you’ll feel once you have completed your first project to then be able to say to the New Idea, “I can give you my full attention and finish you so good, there’ll be nothing left to start with.” (If that sound sexy, it was intentional)

OR…if you think you are that good, you can try and juggle two projects at once. Spending one hour with First, another hour with New. But you will tend to see that your attention will begin to wane and you will countdown the time until you can get to New before you altogether don’t even bother with First anymore.

Don’t be like me. Don’t forget First. Don’t become a habitual Two-Timer with your work. Stay with it until its end. I’m starting a new leaf today. What about you – what unfinished work do you have stored away? Don’t you think it’s calling to you?